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Laurel,
I often hear from single parents who are beginning to explore the dating
world for the first time in many years. It isn’t surprising to me that
you are noticing a profound lack of available men. If you’re over the
age of 30, in most parts of the country your pool of available dating
candidates begins to shrink, and this process continues the rest of your
life.
As we get older, and when work becomes a larger and more pervasive
component in our lives, most people make fewer and fewer new friends.
This fact, combined with the decreasing number of single individuals,
means that just meeting someone who is available can become a
difficult task.
But Laurel, I believe the most important element of your question is
whether or not you should actively search for a gentleman to share your
life with. I know many people believe as your friends do, that you can
only find “the one” when you aren’t searching. I don’t share that
opinion. In my experience, I’ve rarely seen a general policy of inaction
yield the results a person desires.
In fact, I started eHarmony to give single persons, just like you, a way
to put their communication skills to work and find a loving, caring,
life-long relationship. eHarmony has a database of over 7 million single
adults from all over the world. This database can give you an extremely
large pool of dating candidates, to a degree you never could develop on
your own.
eHarmony has helped countless couples meet and get married. These
newlyweds come from all walks of life and all layers of the
socio-economic strata, but they have one thing in common: Each person,
in each relationship, took the initiative and reached out to find their
soul mate. Their action was the first, and I believe, the most important
in their journey towards meeting the love of their life.
I encourage you to take wise action in your search for a new
relationship. Take action to make sure you have regained your emotional
health since your divorce, to read and develop your knowledge of what a
healthy marriage should be, and to find a relationship service, such as
eHarmony, that can guide you in your search.
Finally, I advise you to pursue this task with a gentle spirit. Taking
action doesn’t mean acting desperately. Treat each potential mate with a
careful heart and an open mind and I believe you will be richly
rewarded. | 
